| It's been a while... |
[Jul. 12th, 2006|02:44 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | amee's house | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  happy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | dashboard confessional | ] |
Well, I haven't written in here for ages and I'm pretty bored so I figured why the heck not?
I'm at Amber's house. Everyone is gone so it's just me and the cleaning lady....a little awkward. I'm having a wonderful tiem as usual and I'll be going to an O.A.R. concert on Saturday. I really don't know many of their songs but it'll still be fun I'm sure. Summer's been really really boring in Valpo so I decided to come back to Chi-town for a while. It's pretty sad though cause all the people I hang out with here are leaving in just a few weeks for college...sad. I guess that's life though.
I don't have a job anymore...thank goodness. I feel free. Bored...but free. And poor, too. Oh well. Who the heck needs money anway??
Well, my macaroni has boiled oer the stove...Must go
Short but Sweet~
Lizzy |
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| its been a while |
[Jan. 26th, 2006|09:50 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  okay | ] |
Wow, so I seriously need a good updating. It's bben like 4 months.
So life's good. I met Aaron over the summer and I've fallen helplessly in love with him. Boy woes are over, finally. He was very worth going through "boy hell" for. He was sad today when he came over and that makes me sad. Like I feel like I can't make him happy. Who knows?
Christmas was good last year. I got a cell phone. It's not all pimped with a camera and stuff but at least I'm moving up into the 1990's with a ghetto little cell phone. It's called "the shorty" and the ring tones are all like "crunkness" and "low rider". It makes me laugh...
Jaspie, Marigold, and Chris came out after New Year's. That was so much fun. Jasper is the most amazing little boy ever. He's big now so we can play animals and have conversations. I love him so much.
Schools ok, but boring. I'm dedicating my time to college searching this semester and my goal is to have them all picked out before this year's over. Then all aplications by the fall. I'm stressed. I don't know what I want to study. I want to be a firefighter, and Id kind of rather skip college and go straight to career. But I think it'd be best to have some sort of degree. Like Major in fire safety and Minor in secondary education. I have no idea....grrr
Well, I'm going to try and update more. It should be easy because I'm going to be online all the time for college searching now anyways.
Much love |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 20th, 2005|09:27 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  dirty | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | dashboard | ] |
Well,
I have officially had the best night of my life. And that was yesterday.
I got to be 20 feet away from Chris Carraba. Oh my goodness he was amazingly breathtaking. Plus he told me this joke (and when I say "me" i mean the whole audiendce. but i laughed the hardest):
A drunk guy walks out of a bar and he notices his car is gone. So he sees this police officer and he goes "man someone stole my car!' and the policeman goes "wheres the last time you saw it?" and the drunk answers "right at the end of this key" so the police officer says "ok. we'll help you find your car but first you're going to have to come down to the station with me. and by the way, your fly is open." and the drunk guy goes " oh man, they got my girl too!"
Yeah that jokes pretty lame. but it came out of Chris's mouth which makes it holy. So besides the fact that the concert was seriously the most amazingly happy i have ever been, i got to eat taco bell AND pizza on the way home and when I walked into my bedroom, Eric had the whole room decorated and he asked me to Homecoming!! It was so awesome. What a great day...
So that means i have to wear my dress that is wicked teeny and i cant eat or breathe while i am in it. But it'll still be great.
Ahhh! I can't wait to get back to see Dashboard again. I was one of those crazy people you see who jump up and dowm and scream the songs and everyone at the concert hates. haha i loved it. goodness, i can die a happy happy girl.
much love--lizzy |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 11th, 2005|09:57 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  tired | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | taking back sunday | ] |
Well, It's about time I updated.
Huge big super fantastic exciting news!!!! I'm going to the Dashboard concert next Monday!!!! My life will then be complete! I'm so freaking excited!
Not so super fantastic news, I have once AGAIN been used and lied to and hurt by a guy. And not just any guy.One that I really liked. The really sad part is that even when I told my friends that I didn't think he really liked me, and I new I was right because I always am about that stuff, they actually got me to believe I had a chance. Even though I KNEW I didn't, I still thought I did. How pathetic. I never ever ever want to hear from another one of my friends that I am too pessimistic about guys, too down on myself, or don't give boys a chance. They are wrong and I am right and not a single man in this worls should be trusted.
But it really was the last straw. I mean I haven't trusted boys since last year when I got my heart broke, but I still hoped I'd find a good one. Now, I don't care if I don't have a boyfriend and the truth is, even though I know one who likes me right now, I'm completely uninterested. There is no way I will ever put myself in a position to get hurt again. It's just not going to happen. So there. Eat that.
Well, now that I have thoroughly vented, my mom found alcohol in my closet. .....oops. I'm not in trouble cause I made up a huge lie. They think I'm covering for Mary though and I'm not. It's really not hers.
Went to the horse race track last night for my dad's birthday, and made a few bucks. Jake won $95 on one bet. That was the highlight of the night lol.
I'm in a very funny sort of mood. I want to be really happy and not care about stuff, but I do care, and it makes me unhappy. Yes, weird.
Screw that diet I was on! I'm not going to homecoming, I don't want to go, and I don't want to fit in that dress!
Well, this is becoming insanely long. I'll update after the concert....uhuhuhuhhhhhuhh daashbvoaard!
Love from Lizzy |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 28th, 2005|01:44 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | happy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Deathcab | ] |
So, school has started again. I already have tons of work to do especially cause I'm writing for the paper this year. I haven't decided how I feel about school yet. I just hope I find an actually good boyfriend this year...
I at least better get asked to Homecoming haha.
I want to go to Evergreen. I'm not really sure why. I'm just going through the 'I want to get out of Valpo' thing again.
There's not really too much to update on. I'm trying to lose weight to fit into a dress I bought for Homecoming. Not eating candy is making me crazy, I basically live on it!
Well, I guess I'll update more when something exciting happens (which isn't too likely).
Liz |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 4th, 2005|02:23 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | cold | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | fast car - tracy chapman | ] |
I said I'd update after my birthday, so here I am; updating.
I had a strange birthday. I cried a lot just beacuse I felt really sad, partly for no reason, but I guess it was an ok time. It sucked so bad that Amber couldn't come. This made it the fourth year in a row that Amber and I haven't seen eachother on our birthdays. But yeah, things happened that I really wish hadn't and people came who, in my opinion, I shouldn't have invited in the first place.
My parents bought me the Harry Potter book. I finished it and cried like a baby and Mary made fun of me. It was hilarious.
Found yet another boy who just wanted to hook up and I think I may get sick from it. There's just no way I'll do that again any time soon. It's not even fair that this keeps happening to me. I'm not a whore and I know I don't look like one, so how come every guy who pretends to be interested thinks it's ok to treat me like a piece of meat?
I hate who I am right now. I smoke and drink and hook up with practical strangers cause I know I can't get anyone else. I don't trust a single person in my life. That has to be the worst of it. I can't even tell the people closest to me what's bothering me cause I don't trust them. Uhhhh, I feel like shit. My self-esteem is at an all-time low and my mom agrees that I need to go on a diet. I am so sick of complaining but here I am doing it. I'm complaining about complaining. Who would think that was humanly possible?
Yet, through all of my bitching and whining, I want to make it clear that I realize what an amazing life I have. I've got all the opportunities I could ask for and deep down I really am happy.
So my goal= wake up and
1) not gossip
2) not complain
3) eat healthy
4) be grateful for the people I have in my life
5) pray cause I was never happier than when I was when I was really close to God
6) SMILE
I probably won't learn to trust people for a while, but the truth is, I'd be happier knowing that I can just trust myself.
*Love*
Lizzy |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 24th, 2005|08:01 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | tired | ] |
Well, I am at Annemarie's and rather bored cause I'm home alone. Wishing I could throw a party but can't. boo. I just got back from Amber's and I had a good time. I was looking forward to going home and seeing Tommy and Whitney and Amanda and Ben but my sisters decided I had to stay at their house till Tuesday before I could go home, so here I am. It's almost my birthday. Finally, I'll be 16. I'm going camping with some friends (if you're interested just let me know), so I'm guessing that'll be fun. I'd like Joe to go for some birthday ass haha, but that's probably not going to happen. Perhaps a lapdance from Tom, however. Well, my week was intersting to say the least. A whole bunch of firsts that I won't mention here ;). I miss Amy so there's some sadness.
My whole family was talking to me about college at my family party today and it made me depressed. Half my friends are going away after this year, some of them already did, and I am very far from being ready to let go. I guess just live it up now and not really ever say goodbye. Oh yeah, I crashed the side of my mom's car into a rock sometime last week, so that was bad. I owe her some money and need to get a job, but I guess it could be a lot worse. At least she knows I am a good driver and still let's me use the car. I'm really sick of not having a real boyfriend. I haven't had one in almost a whole year and it's getting old. Sure, I have hooked up with a decent amount of guys but after a while it's just like, alright, enough stupid horny shit. I guess that's really all I have though, Guys just don't want to get serious with me. Whatev, I can deal. So yeah, I'm going to go make some phone calls. I'll update sometime after my birthday.
much love |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 6th, 2005|02:56 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | happy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Green Day on VH1 | ] |
I'm in Evergreen. Everything's well so I'm happy. I guess I really don't have too much to update on. I miss Whitney and Ashley and my daddy, but I'll be coming home on Saturday so no worries. Hopefully Amee and Ryan and maybe some other poeple are going to come out and visit me this weekend. That would be pretty spectacular. Amee and I stayed up last night watching MTV and we got about 6 quotes for our quote book. They're pretty awesome.
So Amee just said "I just opened the front door and a cute little emo kid gave me these flyers." I'm jealous I missed out on the emo action.
Lately I've been hanging around Amber's by day and going out at night. I haven't drank too much at all, and I like it. Like last night the entire group (which was HUGE) was sober and hanging out at the park and it's just so much cooler when people aren't drinking. Way more fun.
My mood just turned sad. Amee found the sparkly part on my bathing suit in peices in the dryer. That was my favorite part. Now I have to go be sad and try to glue it with my handy craftsman skills.
much love,
lizzy |
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| How many special people change?.....where were you when we were getting high (..on life of course.)? |
[Jun. 18th, 2005|11:56 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  sleepy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Oasis- "Some Might Say" | ] |
Today Mary saw that I was lonely and she poked her head up to the top bunk and kissed me on the forehead. I was so happy I cried.
So, Mar, here's a poem I just randomly made up for you:
Mary is sweet,
Mary is pretty.
Sometimes Mary gets burnt as a cherry.
Mary is a pretty name except for the fact that everytime I say it I am reminded of the person for which Tom told me he couldn't like me anymore because of.
Anyways,
Mary is a wonderful sister and I love her.
YAY, Mary! |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 4th, 2005|02:09 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | hurt | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | lynard skynard | ] |
I hate everyone but Ashley and Whitney and Amber. I want a new group of friends who actually care about eachother. Like in PANTS, the best friendship movie ever.
I have seriously given up on being happy with males. It is impossible for one to care about me and don't say that isn't true. I want to inflict pain on basically every single idiot boy I see. Except my dad because he remains the best father in the whole world and I love him.
Amber, I don't want to go to Evergreen and be reminded of heartbreak. I don't want you to come out here and meet my "friends" cause they mostly suck really hard. Therefore, you and I are catching the next train to wherever. Honestly.
I want to get the f out of here, and I bet you do, so let's leave!!!
I'm so heartbroken that if I take it seriously, who knows who I'll throw a punch at. That's sad.
HEY PEOPLE!!!!!! IM VULNERABLE AND HATE LIARS SO STAY THE HELL OUT OF MY WAY!
I'm not sorry. I think for once I deserve to be openly angry. |
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| words are only words. can you show me something? |
[May. 18th, 2005|10:23 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | sick | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | taking back sunday | ] |
Let's see.
O.C. finale party tomorrow at Ashley's. Should be a good time as long as nobody talks. haha.
I also get my permit tomorrow and Bridgid and Jake are coming home too.
Half-day Friday so I'm going to play with Eric.
Sunday me and Whitney are doing a car wash which I'm excited about. We had a school-night sleep over last night so today felt like a Friday. Boo. But we had a good time sunless-tanning and all.
Love stinks. I tried to clear up my confusion today about that, but he didn't answer. Oh well.
Well, not too much to update on.
much love |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 16th, 2005|02:15 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | thirsty | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Spiderman soundtrack | ] |
Well, I haven't updated in a while, and in 20 years when I read this I'll regret not updating more, so here it goes...
School's been ok lately. No complaints really.
Lately I just feel really lucky. Like even just to be alive. I don't know, I'm weird I guess.
Been to shows at Real Life the last two Fridays. Today was pretty cool. There was this really good band with a gorgeous singer/guitarist who I want to believe was interested in me. He gave me and Amanda free band pins so it was all good.
But I did feel like I wasn't wearing enough clothes. I just didn't feel like me at all. Yeah, it's a weird feeling. But I did get a compliment from a stranger on my (Whitney's) shirt.
Everytime I go out with Whitney I dress up in her clothes and get all ready and actually wear a lot of makeup, well for me at least, and I don't like it. I'm so against fashion and caring about what you look like. I don't know. I guess I just try to match Whit's extreme beauty by wearing her clothes...haha.
Last night me and her partied at her house cause some people are retarded and wait until 9:30 to drink, and Whit had a nice little drunkenness going on. It was pretty funny.
I miss Tom a lot. It's hard to care about someone this much and not ever be able to see them. Sometimes I just need someone to actually be there and that can't happen with us. It sucks.
I did something tonight that I know I shouldn't have done. It wasn't a big deal cause I do it all the time, but I'd be really mad if he did this, so I should probably stop. Yeah
I miss Amber, too. It's hard deciding which place feels more like home. If I had to choose between Valpo and Evergreen, I really don't know which I'd pick.
All I know is Whitney, Amanda, and Ashley are retarded and went to bed and now I'm up by myself. ....such a loser.
You tried so hard to be somemone that you forgot who you are.
You tried to fill some emptiness till all you had spilled over.
Now everything's so far away that you don't know where you are.
Well, all that you wanted and all that you have don't seem so much for you to hold on to, for you to belong to. |
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| It seems like when I'm finally happy with myself, everyone else wants me to change. |
[Apr. 4th, 2005|11:03 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | indescribable | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Oasis | ] |
I want to go to school tomorrow, but my mom said I can't. She keeps telling me I look awful (which I don't need anyone to point out by the way), and telling me I should have never gone to Evergreen. I know she's not the only one who thinks that and that's what really bothers me.
I hate journals passionatley. I want to keep a real journal but they seem pointless, don't they? No one will ever read them so all the things you say are just meaningless words on paper. But livejournals suck too, cause you have to be careful what you say. There have been too many times when a livejournal has killed my day. Today being one of them.
I LOVE BEING IN TOUCH WITH MY FEELINGS AND CRYING A LOT. But, I will pick better times to do it.
haha funny bit of information for Whitney: Remember those anonymous messages I got during the summer? Turns out Mary and Kaylee left them!! Mary owned up to it a few weeks ago when we were having our random sister bonding nights. That drove us crazy for months lol. I'm going to get that brat back. KAYLEE YOU SUCK!
Anyways, I think my mom knows how much I want to go to school tomorrow and is punishing me for going to Evergreen when I was sick by not letting me go. F!
....and became famous on that day in November. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 29th, 2005|11:18 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | drugged | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | mr. brightside because the killers are awesome | ] |
So, I've been at Amber's this week. Pretty good times so far minus the sickness, but whatev, I can deal.
Went to the beach, saw Ryan's white thighs, and walked like ten miles today so I'm happy. I got some pretty good pictures that I can't wait to show off when I get home.
I have a crazy mix of emotions right now so I'm not going to say too much.
"I just can't look
it's killing me."
^that song sums up how i feel pretty perfectly. |
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| i need a mother fucking boyfriend. |
[Mar. 17th, 2005|08:14 pm] |
Bold all that apply:
I kissed someone..
ON THE CHEEK.
ON THE LIPS.
ON THEIR HANDS.
ON THEIR FINGERS.
IN MY ROOM.
IN THEIR ROOM.
OF THE SAME SEX.
younger than me.
OLDER THAN ME.
with jet black hair.
with curly hair.
WITH BLOND HAIR AND BLUE EYES.
with flaming red hair.
WITH STRAIGHT HAIR.
TALLER THAN ME.
with a lip ring.
WHO WAS DRUNK.
who was high.
WHO I HAD JUST MET.
WHO WAS HOMOSEXUAL. (bi-same diff)
WHO I DIDNT REALLY WANT TO KISS.
ON A HOLIDAY.
who was going out with someone else.
WHO HAS BEEN IN JAIL.
in a graveyard.
at a show/concert.
at the beach.
IN A POOL.
who was legally too young/old for me to have sex with.
with dyed hair.
with a shaved head.
WHO WAS/IS MY GOOD FRIEND.
WHO WAS/IS IN A BAND.
who has tattoos.
who is of a completely different race than me.
IN THE RAIN.
on another continent besides where I was born.
with an accent.
with an STD.
on a boat.
in a car/taxi/bus.
on a plane.
at the circus/carnival.
with a missing body part.
IN THE MOVIES.
ESKIMO STYLE.
with a tongue ring
Yummy. I don't know why I did that, now I'm just wicked depressed. wow I'm a geek.
Me and Amber probably kissed someone with an STD, but we won't mention names...haha. Amber's the one I kissed who's been in jail.teehee.
Anyways..... |
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| love, the kind you clean up with a mop and a bucket. |
[Mar. 13th, 2005|04:14 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | okay | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | phish | ] |
This weekend was ok. On Friday I went to Jill's with Christy, Emily, and Ivon. Saturday, I snuck over to Whitney's when her mom wasn't home. Then we went to DC's with Christy and Ashley. It was pretty fun, except for the intense amounts of smole I inhaled and I didn't have a voice so it was really hard to yell over the music.
Also, my self esteem is really low cause I managed to not get asked to dance by a single boy. There were like three hundred of them, literally. I can't get my looks to attract boys, and the problem is, I don't think I have a very likeable personality either.
We couldn't find anyone to get us beer either, but oh well.
Today I'm sad cause Danny wouldn't take me to the Chicago with him. I really wanted to go so bad. And now Whitney, Sam, and Mary are practicing for Vikettes in my back room. Final cuts are tomorrow. I hope Mary makes them. But in a way it's going to be annoying.
I feel stupid about something, but I'm not going to get into it. I always do it. You'd think I could just stop by now.
AMANDA, BEST FRIEND, SMILE. I LOVE YOU. EVERYONE LOVES YOU. YOU WILL BE HAPPY AGAIN, I PROMISE. ILL ALWAYS BE AROUND WHEN YOU NEED ME, DONT FORGET.
who put such a high premium on being typical?
who decided what beautiful people look like?
I'd change all that. |
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| ow, pain |
[Mar. 10th, 2005|09:27 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | guilty | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | alicia keys | ] |
I just smashed into my end table and knocked the whole thing over. I hit my head really hard and I broke the lamp. It was my mom's favorite lamp. I feel sorry. And I hurt really bad.
I want to go on vacation. Pretty much anywhere except somewhere I've been before. I kind of want to go to Minneapolis because I adore it there and I'd want to bring Whitney and we can go to the Mall of America and see Jasper and eat at the hippie coffee shops.
I really wanted to go to the St. Patrick's day parade cause I haven't seen it in a few years, but that won't work out.
School has been making me crazy. One of my teachers have been making me crazy. My friends have been making me crazy. It's not really what they're doing, but what they're not doing. I don't know if that's selfish or not, but that's how I feel.
My performance tonight went badly. The people in my scene forgot half their lines and it was really obvious. I'm not angry at all but I hope I don't get a bad grade because of it.
On the bright side, in journalism I started coughing and I couldn't stop so I went up to the teacher to go to the nurse, and she was so nice and called me a "poor thing" and it made me feel special. People say that she's weird but I like her.
Plus, she asked me to write for the school paper next year and that's awesome.
i have sadness so im going to sleep. holler if you want to go see robots tomorrow becuase im a little kid like that and want to see it really badly. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 7th, 2005|09:32 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  cranky and happy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Luda who else? | ] |
So about boys,
Everyone pretty much has one.
I wish I did.
There's this one, but I'm pretty sure he likes one of my friends.
In the past, I have had pretty much the worst luck with them.
Dan and I's relationship almost seemed a joke.
Ben hates me, but everyone knows that.
Garret used me and then brought his other girl friend I had no idea about to church.
The whole Ryan thing, which is over, was a failure, and now he seems to be getting together with Amber. Which I'm not sure how to react, but I'm definately ok with it. Thanks to Tom.
Tom, I definately think is the most amazing boy I have ever met. I relate to him so well. I wish I could date him, I think.
Brandon, well, I don't even know.
Jared, haha, that was retarded and pointless.
Kyle Klein mmm. That was hot but Brandon ruined it for me.
See, no luck at all. And that's not even counting the meaningless drunken makeouts with what... THREE boys. gross.
My lack of action is making me cranky. haha
I had a good weekend though. I stayed at Whit's and made Tommy the coolest band t-shirt ever. I'm so proud.
Went to a ska show on Saturday that was ok. I was pretty bored though. Then, I went to to Tommy's and hung out.
Sunday I went to the park with Mary and Sam and played basketball and on the swings. Then we went out to eat and to Kaylee's house.
blackbird singing in the dead of night
take these broken wings and learn to fly
all your life, you were only waiting for this moment to arise |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 24th, 2005|10:00 pm] |
I just spent 30 minutes writng an entry and then it got deleted. grrr. It's ok though, it was mostly about cats:
1) Whitney got a new kitty named Linus who I'm very jealous about.
2) I miss my Winky, Baby, and Gus Gus. They were my favorite kitties I ever had, and my daddy made me give them away. Sadness.
3) I forgot completely about Oliver, my outside cat that I had all summer and dissapeared in October. I hope she comes back in April, otherwise, I'll have to assume she died. And that's horrible.
I had a good conversation with Amber; lots of crying and laughing. Now, I'm on my way to being content about certain things. But on the other hand, sad about other things. Like, why some people are so dumb [ Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<cough,>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.] I just spent 30 minutes writng an entry and then it got deleted. grrr. It's ok though, it was mostly about cats:
1) Whitney got a new kitty named Linus who I'm very jealous about.
2) I miss my Winky, Baby, and Gus Gus. They were my favorite kitties I ever had, and my daddy made me give them away. Sadness.
3) I forgot completely about Oliver, my outside cat that I had all summer and dissapeared in October. I hope she comes back in April, otherwise, I'll have to assume she died. And that's horrible.
I had a good conversation with Amber; lots of crying and laughing. Now, I'm on my way to being content about certain things. But on the other hand, sad about other things. Like, why some people are so dumb <cough, the Kelly's, cough>. And that this summer is going to be the last one with most of the people I know in Evergreen. Hopefully, I'll be able to live it up, without making people think I'm a slut. Which we all know I'm pretty much the opposite of. I feel like I'm giving some Chicago people that impression, though. oops. Ah who cares?
Babysitting Em and Hope on Saturday. Should be good times. But no Kaylan, so it may be boring.
Tomorrow, I'm going for a happy day. My friends keep asking me why I look sad. I don't want to be sad-looking. I'm going to move on and be happy. I'm just a naturally dramatic person (which y'all already know).
Anyways, better do my dang homework.
its something we have no control over,
but thats what destiny is.
we dont know why we feel how we feel inside. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 20th, 2005|05:24 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | hopeful | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | hold hands, slow dance, while the recored spins | ] |
Got back from Amber's at 12 today and took a nap cause I can't sleep there. The whole weekend I had like 10 hours of sleep. eh
Man, so much to say....
So Thursday. Amee's dad came and picked me up. Got to Amber's, went to the mall, came back to Amber's and Ryan came over. Can't really say all I want to say about that but whatever. He knows how I feel and I can't make him love me so.. Well, went to bed after that and woke up at 8 the next day.....sooo early.
Friday we hung around the house. We went out with Danielle, Stevo, and some other people. Long story short, got with Stevo. Now I fucking want to throw up and I probaby will if I keep talking about it. He's not ugly or anything, but I really didn't want to get with anyone, plus I wasn't sober and I'm sick up drunk make-outs. Eww..anyways.
Saturday was by far the best day. I woke up at f-ing 7 and lied in bed til I couldn't hold out any longer and woke Amber up at 10. We made breafast that tasted like Stevo. It was fucking sick. bluuuhh....um what else...oh yes, went back out with Stevo and Joe. Amber drove his car around the parking lot. It was fun. Then the four of us went to Tom's. Hung around for a while. Stevo left (thank you God), and the alcohol and boys came. It was amazingly fun. I felt so comfortable, which was a big surprise cause I thought it was going to be awkward. I met really really awesome people, including Tom. He's so awesome. We totally spilled our guts about Ryan and Mary and totally connected. Wow, the more I think about it, the more I like Tom. Oh my goodness, I CANNNOT wait to get back there. Hopefully, in a couple of weeks. Well, we had to leave Tom's so we went to the cemetary, drank a little more...aww shit, I got so wrapped up in writing I left the macaroni on the stove for 20 minutes. Aww nasty haha. Anyways...then we went to Annie's cause it was freezing and snowing on us...I pretty much had her socks on my hands for warmth. haha. Well, Grigas gave us a ride home (early :( I didn't get to say goodbye to Tom, which made me sad. Hmm... so talked to Ryan that night too. And I was pretty much still completely drunk so I'm not even sure what I said to him. But I do remember him saying it was awkward talking on the phone with me and Amber cause I was there. And let me tell you, that didn't make me feel too good. Every time I see him or talk to him I just keep making a bigger and bigger idiot of myself. God, this sucks so bad.
Anyways, my parents picked me up at 10 today. Which sucked. I'm in such a weird mood. I just want to be back at Amber's soo bad. Oh well, at least I'll proabably get to hang out with Whit tonight.
Oh yes, Snow Patrol....great band. They're fucking irish or some shit. |
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